His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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