im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
