This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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