just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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