We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thus making me awesome and them whores
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize