I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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