If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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