ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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