I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
