omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
