I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
