there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize