You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
