tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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