Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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