wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize