Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
