yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
