i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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