I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
