I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
