I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
