I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
