Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
me + whiskey = a bad person
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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