we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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