mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They took my balls.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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