I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize