how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
