If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize