when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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