Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
