I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
