you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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