There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
