i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
