That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
