he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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