she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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