no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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