I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
