i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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