So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
