I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
