Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
