They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
