I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
