we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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