Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
