weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Success! We fucked roommates!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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