got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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