he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Randomize
