I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
