OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize