marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
