I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
