Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Im part way to drunk.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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