Screwed.edu
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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