Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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