At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
