So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
