I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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