Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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