i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
God I need to hump something, right now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
